Category Archives: Uncategorized

What’s In My Name?

The title of this little blog is “Emily Awake.” It wasn’t my first choice, not by a long shot, but it turns out my ideal name had already been taken. Thanks, WordPress. So I chose this name instead, and I have a feeling it will turn out to be auspicious in its own way.

For a large part of my life I was very sad, confused, depressed, aching, hurting in my whole being. I didn’t understand why things were the way they were, or how to change my circumstances. I couldn’t express how I felt or name my demons. My purpose in life was shrouded. I avoided the pain. Everything seemed meaningless or just another pathway to un-fulfillment.

But recently, I have… awakened.

Well, when I put it that way, it sure seems like my life is a shining beacon of driven purpose and meaning. And in a way, it is. What happened was that through a series of events, I “woke up” to the ticking of the world: the endless patterns and interweaving lives, the complete interconnectedness of being, the fact that we all matter and have a place in the universe. I discovered that God really does exist, but not in the storybook, reserved way I’d grown up┬ábelieving.

And in another way, my life makes no sense and is a complete mess. I barely have my shit together, being a new mom and all. Things happen that I have no control over – scary things, bad things, overwhelming things, shocking things, and beautiful things. The difference is that my perspective has changed, and what used to look like a big scary mess now is an expected unpredictable kaleidoscope of life-changing events.

Everything matters.

I am awake.

Advertisements

Good morning!

Hello, my name is Emily. I don’t know anything, but I have a lot to say.

Awhile ago I conceived the idea to start a blog, but quickly squashed it in fears of being just another ” [insert stereotype here] blogger.” But my brain wouldn’t leave it alone; the idea kept popping up like spring violets, here and there amongst the unkempt grass of my day to day thoughts. So I decided to say yes, and here I am.

I couldn’t tell you what kind of blog this will end up being, exactly, since I’m writing this for myself. Depending on the day, it might be a food blog, parenting blog, gardening blog, lifestyle blog, or health blog. If I get tons of readers – great! If nobody reads – great! I love being a new mother, but I need an outlet for my creative juices that isn’t finding a new way to stack blocks or hang laundry on the line.

I’m not much of a writer, but I promise to be honest, open, and thoughtful.

Until next time,

Emily